hmmm...

i cant freakin sleep... veri down time i guess...

life is goin downhill so far... i dunno WHY!!! bt yeahz... tried to sleep but it seems like my brain juz wouldnt shut down... i realli need my sleep lahz... its in the middle of exams n i'm like awake in the night... i muz change my sleeping habits... this sux...

when i closed my eyes on my bed... everthing juz floats in my mind...

relationship...
studies...
IPP...
God...
family...
cash...
friends...
frisbee...
singing...
guitar...
future...
past...
present...
fitness...
cigarettes (LIKE WTF)...

faces float around... emotions rages up and down... mood swinging left to right... words fade in and out... flashbacks come and go... i dunno... i cant stand this... i realli cant... i cant focus on myself... tatz the worse part... i focus on everyone else except me... i'm awake nt bcoz of me...

all around i see my lovely darlings sleeping around my house... KC nearly fell off the computer table... Bai Jiao relaxed on the high chair... Meow Meow hugging her own tail... Silver wid his belly faced up... domestic animals are juz so peaceful wid nothin much to worry about... i guess bcoz its us humans that takes care of their needs...

(somehow this links to God... He takes care of our needs so that we in turn can be peaceful at heart...)

(now its like Q n A to myself n God is giving me ans... strange but yeah...)

Phileo dun dare to slp... guess i'm nt the worse lahz...

was chattin wid Phoebe... mugging hard for everythin...

everyone is panicky over exams... i dunno if it's right for me to still stay so calm or not...

i was Jasmine panicking over studies at starbucks and library the other day...
Phileo panicking n has a lucky horseshoe as his DP
Yong Jie has a four leaf clover for his DP
Ivan went 'OMG' when he finished his paper juz now
Teng Chung talked abt his GPA dropping
a few NYPians still online... most prob muggin beside their coms...
many guys i noe all said 'see you next sem' outside the exam zones...

i dunno... i met Brandon when i went to sch... O lvls we did quite alrite... n we still went to play initial D like everyday during O lvl period... we were crazy then... haha... i didnt felt pressure from exams... no... not one bit... although i noe tat retainin n stuff is no gd lahz... but... i actualli thought tat i chose the wrong course... u noe... its kinda strange...

Veenotth n Arvind told me...

'dont be like me ah... ya ya the first time we came to poly... den fool around... then after tat went to army... waste time n money...'

i dunno... i ever thought of goin to NS first... but how much can i do wid juz O lvl cert in the army... OCS baby... i wanna aim for tat... its nt gonna be easy though...

i dun wanna be like the rest of my family... me being in poly is like the highest education... dad ITE... mom O lvl... bro private O... me nw in poly... i'm even aiming for like ACCA... n even something higher too... tat was the route i planned... but...

did i choose the correct course...

i wanted to change to Sport and Wellness... Marketing... but its too late i guess... oh well...

3am on the clock right now... n i'm still wide awake... Silver nw slpin behind me instead of the kitchen... like AWW~

i'm thinking of the Starbucks sofa seat n Arvind's chair now... both are damn comfortable lahz... i fell slp while lying on them... HAHA!!! i wan them NOW!!! ARGH!!! 2gether wid Ice Hazelnut Chocolate!!! WOOHOO!!! SHIOK AH!!! sure can slp...

abit cranky rite now... i tink i go try to slp... or maybe juz chat abit more... haha...

[[ Jem ]]
i needa find a companion soon enuff...