hmmm...

i cant freakin sleep... veri down time i guess...

life is goin downhill so far... i dunno WHY!!! bt yeahz... tried to sleep but it seems like my brain juz wouldnt shut down... i realli need my sleep lahz... its in the middle of exams n i'm like awake in the night... i muz change my sleeping habits... this sux...

when i closed my eyes on my bed... everthing juz floats in my mind...

relationship...
studies...
IPP...
God...
family...
cash...
friends...
frisbee...
singing...
guitar...
future...
past...
present...
fitness...
cigarettes (LIKE WTF)...

faces float around... emotions rages up and down... mood swinging left to right... words fade in and out... flashbacks come and go... i dunno... i cant stand this... i realli cant... i cant focus on myself... tatz the worse part... i focus on everyone else except me... i'm awake nt bcoz of me...

all around i see my lovely darlings sleeping around my house... KC nearly fell off the computer table... Bai Jiao relaxed on the high chair... Meow Meow hugging her own tail... Silver wid his belly faced up... domestic animals are juz so peaceful wid nothin much to worry about... i guess bcoz its us humans that takes care of their needs...

(somehow this links to God... He takes care of our needs so that we in turn can be peaceful at heart...)

(now its like Q n A to myself n God is giving me ans... strange but yeah...)

Phileo dun dare to slp... guess i'm nt the worse lahz...

was chattin wid Phoebe... mugging hard for everythin...

everyone is panicky over exams... i dunno if it's right for me to still stay so calm or not...

i was Jasmine panicking over studies at starbucks and library the other day...
Phileo panicking n has a lucky horseshoe as his DP
Yong Jie has a four leaf clover for his DP
Ivan went 'OMG' when he finished his paper juz now
Teng Chung talked abt his GPA dropping
a few NYPians still online... most prob muggin beside their coms...
many guys i noe all said 'see you next sem' outside the exam zones...

i dunno... i met Brandon when i went to sch... O lvls we did quite alrite... n we still went to play initial D like everyday during O lvl period... we were crazy then... haha... i didnt felt pressure from exams... no... not one bit... although i noe tat retainin n stuff is no gd lahz... but... i actualli thought tat i chose the wrong course... u noe... its kinda strange...

Veenotth n Arvind told me...

'dont be like me ah... ya ya the first time we came to poly... den fool around... then after tat went to army... waste time n money...'

i dunno... i ever thought of goin to NS first... but how much can i do wid juz O lvl cert in the army... OCS baby... i wanna aim for tat... its nt gonna be easy though...

i dun wanna be like the rest of my family... me being in poly is like the highest education... dad ITE... mom O lvl... bro private O... me nw in poly... i'm even aiming for like ACCA... n even something higher too... tat was the route i planned... but...

did i choose the correct course...

i wanted to change to Sport and Wellness... Marketing... but its too late i guess... oh well...

3am on the clock right now... n i'm still wide awake... Silver nw slpin behind me instead of the kitchen... like AWW~

i'm thinking of the Starbucks sofa seat n Arvind's chair now... both are damn comfortable lahz... i fell slp while lying on them... HAHA!!! i wan them NOW!!! ARGH!!! 2gether wid Ice Hazelnut Chocolate!!! WOOHOO!!! SHIOK AH!!! sure can slp...

abit cranky rite now... i tink i go try to slp... or maybe juz chat abit more... haha...

[[ Jem ]]
i needa find a companion soon enuff...

abt them???

well... i guess i'll be killed for slpin so late... its like 2.13 n i'm awake...

Karen: dun feel gd tt she's attached to goofy now ah?
Jeremy: abit lahz...

well... kinda sux lahz... still remember she had a nick saying

'knowing that you moved on so quickly shows how important i am in your life'

well... wad goes around comes around... tat happened to her, now she does tat to someone else... guess its me this time...

aniwayz... shall nt be so bothered by tat... i needa study alot man...

went to see my LO 2day... OCBC is payin me $30 per day from 8.30 to 6... 1/2 hr longer than the rest... 1 mnth allowance $600, 2 mnth $1200, 2 mnth 1 wk $1350...

thinking of TAT makes me forget my exams sia... LOLZ!!! well... i got loads of things to buy lahz... road bicycle, guitar pedal, glasses etc etc... but its gonna be difficult... i wanna score an A for my IPP... its gonna help pull my grade up alot!!! well... 18 church street... i've walked past there during xmas n new yr eve... i dunno... was tat a sign from God??? Church, OCBC building... i dunno... everything seems to link 2gether i guess... so wadz next??? guitar i tink??? its burin in me now... a want to sing... to excel in singing... to be the best tat i can be... i wanna prove to pple lahz... like Victor always say...

'I will do it because i can, i can do it because i want to, i want to do it because you said i couldnt...'

tml is gonna be a long long day... Business Accounting followed by Business Finance... nail them n i'm on my way to victory... i juz needa focus now...

[[ Jem ]]
i just dont love you no more... so dont try too hard to poke me...

could it be?

Eunice
Mesmerize my Heart

Just here you and me
All the thoughts that I can't say
No one knows even you
I try to look in a different way

Could it be that I am the only one who can see
Everything from you just set me free

*Each time when you look into my eyes
It doesn't seems to only stop the time
Hold me in your arms
Let me feel your touch

I guess I am losing myself
When I see you with someone else
Hold me in your arms
Mesmerize my heart

Somehow you and me
Can’t go back what we used to be
I just can't believe
I guess this time you should set me free

Could it be that I am the only one who can see
Everything from you just set me free

B: Holding back, as time past me by
My tears turn into nails
I can’t breather oh please don’t you leave
Give me a chance to prove you’re wrong

Another of the Orion young composer songs... it sounds kinda cute lahz... the way she sings it i guess... but when Ashley(another orion singer) sings it, *WHISTLES* steady lahz... sounds more an emo song from Alicia Keys... LOLZ...

tick tock as time goes by,
my eyes refuse to close...

i'm probably disturb by what she said...

n i dunno why i'm bothering so much even though everything has passed us...
probably i'm juz jealous n stuff lahz...

shouldnt let these affect me now...
not now...
exams are coming... cant afford it lahz...

focus Jem focus...

i realli need to...

[[ Jem ]]
like the jewel that reflects and multiply the light that shines into it...
i'll do the same...

life is...

i dunno.... where haf i left off??? well... last wk wasnt realli the best wk lahz ah... sianz... i'll juz zoom to sat lahz...

woke up earli in the mornin juz to receive my phone... K850I BABY~ WOOHOO!!! new starhub line... new number 9338 7738... aniting can call n sms both numbers... the other one haven cancel yet... bt best to contact me thru the new number... VIDEO N PICTURES FOR TAT 5 MEGA PIXEL PHONE IS JUZ FANTASTIQUE~ star buy for the start of the year... i'm just lucky... =P

n i still haf the following for sale...

1x 512mb memory stick duo (used for sony ericsson K750I etc. and PSP)
1x 512mb M2 memory card (used for newer sony ericsson phones K800I, K810I, K850I)

$15... for any... i'm serious abt it... haha... juz wanna clear them lahz... haha...

met up wid Xandra to collect stuff... den went to meet Arvind for church... was good... felt veri comfortable at House of Prayer... seems like the one for me... but i still cant make my decision to come to this new church or go back to Hope Church... haiz... anywayz...

Sunday~

went to church again earli in the mornin... Arvind skipped work to go church sia~ nt bad ahz... haha... den after service went over to Arvind's place to do French... his mom made nice soup and had great apples and pistachios... WOW!!!

went to meet Jasmine for studying after her work n we went to STARBUCKS!!! ICE HAZELNUT CHOCOLATE!!! heaven~ good stuff from Starbucks tat one should enjoy... Cheesecake was also... also... i dunno... great??? fantastic??? i dunno wad to say... muz try lahz... =P but gd food dun come cheap though... tatz the worse part... i wanna get starbucks to sch tml... haha...

went to Thai restaurant to eat... nt so fantastic food... budden still worth it i guess... den i noticed~

one staff... she gt nice voice, nice smile... veri friendly... good english... nt exactly the prettiest person around but... wow~ =X oh boy... wad am i doin??? wanna dine there again??? =X

MONDAY~

wasnt exactly the best day again... woke up late for sch... didnt had cash for cab... so went to take mrt... but i was lucky lahz... attendance was taken at the end of lesson... lunch was horrible... veri veri bad chicken rice from north 2day... ARGH!!! Tax n Law wasnt realli nice to attend either... felt veri veri sleepy... haiz...

strummed alot 2day... too bad there was onli 5 strings on Dorcas' guitar... but doesnt matter... =P

trainin was bad for my side... didnt realli like the team... but managed to enjoy lahz...

he kinda took over once again... dunno if it was gd or bad... but... yeahz...

have you ever had someone sharing ur body?
u know? like split personalities?
he comes back once in a while...
once over the phone wid Xandra...
then now during my training...
gave me a very bad headache...
a real headache...
oh well...
just...
stay...
in...
my...
memories...

oh man... sometimes life juz sux... never knowing what will happen the next minute...

i juz needa keep calm lahz... nothin will happen then...

i hope...



loads of surprises when i went online this evening... kinda put the smile back on my face again... guess i'll end my bloggin here lahz... n THNX SYAKIRAH FOR THE PARAMORE ALBUMS!!! U DA BEST =P

[[ Jeremy ]]

haiz...

I'M ENJOYING MY ICE HAZELNUT CHOCOLATE FROM STARBUCKS!!! WOOHOO!!!

sry random but yeahz... goin thru my down time now but i noe i'll get thru it =)

phone cost $300 nw... coz of some cockup at starhub... budden i get 4mnths of phoneline subscription WAIVED OFF!!! WOOHOO!!! SHIOK LAHZ!!!

frisbee made be burn my feet... kinda painful to walk... sianz... throwing skills go up abit after much teaching...

test kinda sux... did BADLY FOR TAX!!! n juz done a veri lousy BIZ FIN!!! ARGH!!!

sheesh... i gotta start focussing...

performance wasnt realli tat gd... again i cant hear myself thru the feedback monitor...

i bet there is more disasters to come... but oh well...

NO EXTRAVAGANT SPENDING NOW!!!

[[ Jeremy ]]
who can make me smile from the heart now???

bored...

man... finalli i finished both my proj man... freakin stressful start man... I PROCRASTINATE TOO MUCH LAH!!! but lucky i get back my study mood liaoz... finalli sat down to plan wid JASMINE LI YUE MING our study plan... like finalli... =P if you're readin this, sry abt this mornin/afternoon... tease abit onli... dun take it to heart yeahz??? =)

was hell in the mornin... veri tired in the mornin due to frisbee trainin on prev day... den veri bad sinus... the classroom was freakin cold~ i couldnt stand it man... even wid my jacket... it was bad... veri veri bad... but lucky after tat 2 hrs tutorial we had 2 hrs break... ate brunch n planned wid Jasmine our schedule... den went to class earli to accompany beatbox coz he thought class was 12 instead of 1... dotz... oh well... i tink it's his bday now as i'm typin... or is it tml??? i tink its now... HAPPY BDAY!!! ok sry random... French class was quite alrite... oso super cold lahz... my sore throat was veri bad then... felt ultra uncomfortable... and time seems to pass so slowly...

finalli lesson ended at abt 2.45... went to the centre stage to place my bag there n wait for the rest of the Orion performers... sang quite abit for warm ups... and did wad Sayang Syakirah told me to do... DRINK HOT SOUP!!! and the brrrrrrs and the 'mums' and the 'nehs'... felt good man... den b4 my performance, i went to drink some tea wid Arvind n Gary... our performance gt delayed lahz... den the crowd went away... but tat was good XD

sound system sux, too much echo, too much bass, too little treble, cant hear the feedback and this led to poor harmonizing... ARGH!!! MY WORSE NIGHTMARE CAME TRUE AGAIN!!! oh well... 2day was bad bad bad... BUT SAT IS GOTTA BE GREAT!!! i'll pray abt it XD

after performance went to practice wid Ashley, Eunice, Gary, Arvined and Feng Yao... Ashley sings well XD

~~~~~MESMERIZE MY HEART~~~~~

oops =P but yeahz... nice song... cute lahz... bt Ashley sang it in a veri nice matured way lehz... its like ur normal lovey dovey song those kind... Eunice sang it in those kinda innocent girl kind... LOLZ!!! its the voice lah ah... haha... Feng Yao singing chinese song as usual... i dunno much but yeahz... feels like Jeremy in PRC land =X as quoted from Arvind... doesnt matter much though... i dun bother XD

went to gym later in the evening... pumped up my chest... lucky i maintained my weights... except my inclined bench press i tink... sux man... some of the frisbee guys were there... so yeahz... had a good time... after tat went to Bishan for chicken rice... shiok sia... finalli some good chicken rice...

finished up both my proj liaoz... felt the relief in my mind now... although i still gt loads of thing to worry abt... but yeah... take things as it goes yeahz =) n the happy approach...

feelin kinda sleepy now actualli... but i feel like juz stayin up n composing song man... cant do much now though... my acoustic is in Rene's office n my electric cant do much now... i dunno if its tuned or not... haha... 2 songs in my mind... 2 titles... Till my very last breath and Nothing Can Hold Me Back... i want it to be impactful... i realli need the UMPH in it... u noe??? the UMPH!!!! guess not... haha...

tml havin tax make up lecture earli in the mornin at 9 man... sianz.. n i'm still nt aslp yet... i still gt like 5 hrs to slp??? HAHA!!! this kinda sux man... well... Yun Han is nt aslp along wid a few other classmates doin their proj which is due like in a few hrs time... oh man... kinda sux man...

Dear God,

I guess i'll juz pray for everyone lahz... nothing in particular... juz hope for everyone's well-being... esp to those doin proj and helping out in the open house... man... life is taxing... but at least i know what i would get after i'm done here... well... i'm off to sleep liaoz... but juz wanna pray tat everything goes well soon... =)

You brought us to it, You will bring us through it... for those who believe in you shall be renewed everyday =)

In Jesus name i pray,
Amen

I'M OFF TO BED!!! NITEYZ~~~

[[ Jeremy]]
You know that, I want to know You so much more...

life is goin up~

YOZZZZZ~

things are getting better i guess... HAHA~

1st... thank God tat Xandra returned me my jacket... Class is freezing now... n Mr Chee's tutorial is a lullaby to everyone's ears... Fan Sheng is dozing off in front of me... Shi Long is dying of the cold air in the room... n i'm still alive XD N NOW'S A SHORT BREAK!!!

2nd... i was wanting to change my phone for so long... finalli settled all admin stuff... NOW the K850 with line is $388... i have a $100 voucher... n now my bro tells me that we have another $88 voucher... tat means... means... THE PHONE IS $200 ONLI!!! WOOHOO!!! Thank God man XD

3rd... I FINALLI FOUND A CHURCH TO ATTEND TO!!! like finalli... wait... this one i blog b4 liaoz... nvm... but YAY!!!

4th... another chance to perform again~ open house... confirmed liaoz XD 1 song wid Shu Yue, 1 sing solo... but i still yet to find my solo song... tatz the worse part... haiz...

5th... frisbee skills go up liaoz XD learnt quite alot of stuff... n applied alot during the game... everything is good~ played alot last nite till i was so tired, tat when i went home, i forced myself to do my ICT PPT den i fell aslp... this mornin suppose to haf tax lec makeup... but i overslept... den lesson start at 1pm, i woke up at 12.40... n was late for class... finalli no more sleepless nights... wait.. tat sounds wrong...

6th... finalli i have the motivation to study again... starting my study plans wid Jasmine again... haha... i cant afford to fail any modules... esp tax... killer subject...

well... been veri thankful for my new year... have been goin well since the start of the year... wadz left for me to clear is my PROJ!!! left business law... den everything from 2007 would be cleared... muahahaha... shiok shiok...

i tink i go listen to class liaoz... or at least try... my stomach is growling louder than the teacher's words XD

[[ Jeremy ]]
eh... i lost weight?!?!

new yr

Before carryin on, this post is veri veri informal... coz seriously, i dun give a thing about what people are going to think about it now... =) esp the last part...

new year i haven update yet, so now muz update. (very singlish)

nothin veri interesting actualli...

New Yr's eve, the few of us sent the France peeps off for their studies... Veenotth, if u're reading this, i'd like to say THANK YOU for returning me my cash man... its been 1 year man... seems long but yeah wad the heck... haha... jkjk... hope u guys are havin fun there b4 the sch term starts... John i'll miss you man... performance comin up for Open House and u r nt here to sing wid me... why man why??? sheesh...

but i'm gonna duet wid Shu Yue for Zombie... haha... she wants it, i wanna play n sing it, 1 key down, hey why not... Bao's song oso haven choose yet... sianzation... hope she can find the song fast... XD

well... i am so gonna dedicate this year for God man... actualli nt juz this yr... this remainin life on earth... seriously... i realli dunno wadz the world about now... ever heard of a girl who falls for a guy tat she has known for a short period of time like less than 2 wks??? and haven met up yet... den wanna do some stuff for him liaoz... wah kaoz... oh well... WHAT'S IN YOUR HEAD~ IN YOUR HEAD~ ZOMBIE~ LALALA~

then have u seen Goofy in real life??? remember the cartoon character??? well i have... looks like him, sounds like him... should be him... she said he sings well('awesome voice' term used), good looking(ok lahz... nai kan), play guitar well(maybe? i dunno)... wad else, alot lahz... drives(i can too... in fact i speed)... oh well... like last yr, i've moved on while the clock stuck 12am for the first time this yr...

Karen dun laugh at this ahz... I noe u know abt this~

new year, new resolutions...

BK started by giving out half pack of mayonnaise... dun if its their idea to cut cost or SG govt realli emphasizing on Singaporeans' health... well dun worry Singapore, i'm eating, but i'm also exercising...

Flies are also tryin to keep up wid Singapore's population... think Singaporeans are killing them so fast that they needa do it in public...P.S this is a real picture taken by my K800I

last but not least, i still love Silver XDDear Lord,

i dunno wad to say man, this world is changing fast... pple growing weirder, more bizzare things happening... cant wait to get to Your Kingdom man... 2day's service was nice~ cozy small youth service, nice talented bunch of youths, bubbly and energetic... what else could i ask for, but to accept the blessings that You gave to us... Thank You for Terence, the leader that gave the teaching 2day, may You bless him with knowledge and power to change people's life, and use him as your vessel, overflowing with you blessings. Pray for Gideon for his legs to recover, give him what he desires, the will to walk... You designed and created him this way for a purpose, and through You, he will grow to testify for the miracles You do in people's lives... Tml i'm goin for Service again with Phoebe and her family(kinda strange but yeah) and hopefulli get to fellowship wid the youth pple tat went just now coz they will be goin too... its kinda strange how You urged me to go back to church... its too coincidental... but i know that You have planned for it to be this way, and I thank You for that... And I would also want to pray for Arvind tat his faith in You grows through out 2008. Both our 2007 haven been a veri good year for us, probably because the lack of faith we put in You, but this year You will guide us as we put You first in our lives. Thank You for Phoebe for bringing us to House of Prayer to experience once again Your powers and majesty... hope she can recover fast and like finish up her projects with ease...

so many people, so many things to do, so little time... but one thing stays the same... God... =) only with Your guidance, we may get to enjoy a fraction of what there is to come in Your Kingdom... thank You once again for being with us =)

In Jesus wonderful name i pray,

Amen
p.s. sry to judge so much ahz... but yeah... finalli got it off my chest... XD